Results Not Typical by Catherine Ryan Howard
Publisher: Self-published
Release Date: 1st October 2011
Rating: 4/5
Source: Received from Catherine to review.
Amazon Summary:

Through their Ultimate Weight Loss Diet Solution Zone System, Slimmit International Global Incorporated claim they’re making the world a more attractive place one fatty at a time. Their slogans “Where You’re Fat and We Know It!” and “Where the Fat IS Your Fault!” are recognised around the globe, the counter in the lobby says five million slimmed and their share price is as high as their energy levels. But today the theft of their latest revolutionary product, Lipid Loser, will threaten to expose the real secret behind Slimmit’s success… As Director of Security, hunky Aaron Green is held responsible and threatened with his job. Spying an opportunity to get back into Aaron’s pants, Marianne Brand, head of Slimming Operations, offers to help him track down the intruder – but what she’s really hoping to find is her missing Much, Much More Muffin, a secret prototype she believes the intruder ate. Meanwhile Slimmit CEO Nicola Darcy struggles to stay conscious in the three layers of constricting underwear she needs to hide her new muffin top, while her daughter Emmy – deemed “unacceptably beyond corporate Appearance Policy parameters” – pushes paper in Slimmit’s basement and dreams of a skinny life, one she hopes her secret membership of Fat Club, Slimmit’s main competitor, will eventually bring her. The race is on to retrieve the Lipid Loser and save Slimmit from total disaster. If their secrets get out, their competitors will put them out of business. If the government finds out, they’ll all go to jail. And if their clients find out… Well, as Slimmit’s Slimming Specialists know all too well, there’s only one thing worse than a hungry, sugar-crazed, carb addict – an angry one. Will the secret behind Slimmit’s success survive the day, or will their long-suffering slimmers finally discover the truth?

When I read that Catherine Ryan Howard was going to be releasing a fiction novel, I was excited. I’d enjoyed her non-fiction book Mousetrapped and I felt she had a real flair for writing, which was confirmed when I read Backpacked, the sort-of sequel to Mousetrapped. It was another brilliant read and when Catherine asked me if I’d like to read an early copy of Results Not Typical, I jumped at the chance. It sounded entirely different to anything I’d ever read before so when it arrived I couldn’t wait to dive in.

Results Not Typical is not a typical (har-har) Chick Lit novel. Catherine herself confirmed that, but if you ask me where it should go, I wouldn’t know where to put it. I’ve never really read anything like it before; the closest I’ve come is E2 by Matt Beaumont, which is somewhat similar. It’s really a satirical novel (though please don’t ask me what satirical means), but Chick Lit fans will enjoy it. Results Not Typical spans just one day – I’m not joking, the novel – all 410 pages of it – covers a mere 24 hours in the life of the people who work at Slimmit – Where You’re Fat And We Know It! It’s an impressive feat, actually, but it’s incredibly fast paced so the book never lags and although you could perhaps say that everything that happens is a bit farcical, a bit unbelievable, well that’s the entire novel in a nutshell really. It’s ALL a bit farcical – in a nice way. It’s not (I hope!) a novel you’re meant to take entirely seriously.

The novel is very much plot-driven rather than character-driven as most of the characters are rather despicable Cruella De Vil types. The plot is excellent, as Slimmit find themselves in a bit of a scandal – or rather, they will find themselves in a bit of a scandal, if word gets out that their new product Lipid Loser has been stolen. The novel follows Slimmit CEO Nicola Darcy, Slimmit’s Director of Slimming Marianne Brand, and Nicola’s daughter, Emmy, who works in the Travel Support department because she’s not thin or pretty enough to work anywhere but Level -1. I found it fascinating following each woman throughout the day. Emmy as she struggles to try and avoid food temptation; Nicola as she tries to bring herself back from the brink after a heavy weekend and Marianne as she plots and plans and schemes. It was great to see things unfold before the characters did, as we saw it all occurring without anyone else knowing.

The novel is very on point. I mean, how many people around the World are part of a diet group? Part of WeightWatchers or Jenny Craig or one of the many other diet groups around and I reckon Catherine Ryan Howard has hit the mark with Results Not Typical. It’s just brilliant. I loved how stupid the assistants at Slimmit were, I loved the villainous nature of everyone at Slimmit, except Emmy it seemed. It’s very on the button and Catherine has perfectly tapped into what life may well be like at companies like Slimmit. (Though hopefully not.) It’s a novel that’s larger than life, that’s hard to pigeon hole. I’d love to say something clever about the novel because it is more high-concept than I’m used to reading, and the goings-on and happenings are head-spinningly dizzy but I don’t actually know what to say that would/could be clever.

I wondered how Results Not Typical would end, why everyone was so worried about the theft of Lipid Loser, just how the rivalry between Nicola and Marianne would end, whether Emmy would ever come to terms with herself and her weight. There were loads of balls up in the air throughout the novel and Ryan Howard handled them marvellously. There wasn’t anything left up in the air come the end of the book and I thought it was a very satisfying read. It’s so nice to read something that’s different, to read something that’s not your regular girl-meets-boy fare. I truly hope this novel does well, Catherine has a natural flair for story-telling and her writing is immense. It’s a novel that must have been well thought-out and Catherine executed it perfectly. It was such an enjoyable read and I thoroughly recommend it.