Conversations and Cosmopolitans: Awkward Moments, Mixed Drinks, and How a Mother and Son Finally Shared Who They Really Are by Robert Rave and Jane Rave
Publisher: St. Martin’s Press
Release Date: 29th September 2011
Rating: 5/5
Source: Received from the publisher for review via TLC Book Tours. Thank you!
Buy: Amazon UK | Amazon US | BookDepository
Publishers Summary:

Part Augusten Burroughs, part Robert Leleux, this is a hilarious and touching memoir written by a mother, Jane, and her son, Robert, as they navigate their new relationship together after Robert announces in a hand-written letter that he is gay.

If the burden of keeping a secret was no longer something you could handle and the one person you had to tell was not only your best friend but your mother as well, would you tell her? What if this secret could potentially change the entire dynamic of your relationship? For Robert, as well as a number of people, this is a reality but fortunately for him he has the love and support of a wonderful mother & friend.

Truth be told I’m a huge fan of Robert Rave and his Chick Lit novels, but I may have a conflict now…I think I may be a bigger fan of his mom. In a world where acceptance and reactions are still mixed toward gays I can only imagine how difficult it would be not only for the individual sharing the news with their loved ones but also for the loved ones themselves. What I’ve learned in my short time as a parent is that children are who they are and as a parent your biggest responsibility, over any other even more so than feeding & clothing, is to love them unconditionally and let them know that every day of their lives. (That’s just my two cents.) Jane Rave is an incredible example of this. When Robert came-out to her and his father in the hand written letter he sent, her reaction was immediately for him in regards to his long term happiness. It wasn’t negative by any means, she simply wanted him to be happy and afforded all the opportunities we all deserve as human beings. Knowing her son the way she did, she was sure he’d be distraught about their reaction and wanted to do whatever she could to assure him they loved him and would never judge him immediately and without question.

What was truly enjoyable about this memoir, outside of the connection between Robert and his mom Jane, was the varying versions of situations through each of their eyes. The way the story was told was through situations they both experienced, first being told by Robert and then by Jane. They weren’t always present and sometimes it was Jane’s reaction to Robert’s relay of the situation via phone or email, but it was often heartwarming and sometimes incredibly hilarious. What was even funnier was often his Dad’s reaction to certain situations like the announcement he was going to get waxed. Because Robert never truly acted on his homosexuality prior to telling his parents it was as if both he and is mother were experiencing everything for the first time. Having two older children, a boy and a girl, Jane thought she’d experienced everything. Helping her son with his boyfriend issues wasn’t something she had anticipated but she met it with the same fever and hope she had with her first two children.

After reading Conversations and Cosmopolitans I’d definitely say I not only have a continued desire to pick up more of Robert’s novels as they are published, but I have a huge amount of respect for his mother Jane. It’s obvious that Robert inherited much of his writing ability from his mom as well as his ability to love. For my part, as a parent, I think I enjoyed hearing Jane’s side of the story even more than Robert’s because of her insights on parenting, friendship and her own personal struggles to find her own identity throughout her life. This was a positively delightful memoir to read and one I think everyone should read. This is a memoir that sheds new light on an often difficult situation for many, but is more than simply a story about a gay man coming out to his family. It’s a story about love, hope, life and enjoying & being who we truly are.